WALK LIKE A TRANSVESTITE *
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- http://boog.org/text
(To the tune of "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles)


See Brad and Janet on the go
To see Doctor Scott, don't ya know?
If they get a flat (Oh damn it!)
They're in the dark heading for the glow

And the butler man with a kick
He lets them come in from the night
With the domestic (Magenta)
Jumps to the left and steps to the right

Groupie chick with her shoes that click sings:
(Whee oh whee oh whee oh whee oh)
Walk like a transvestite

The convention guests form a line
And Brad tells Janet all is fine
They back away (Let's go Brad!)
They lose their clothes while Frank sips his wine

Doctor Frankie up in his lab
He's making a monster on the slab
When the freezer chimes (Ah ooo oh!)
He's strutting like a diva so fab

All the guests in the sequinned vests say:
(Sha-la sha-la sha-la-la-la!)
Walk like a transvestite

Rest your head in bed, check your watch
Grab the wig, then protect your crotch
It's all his fault (You're to blame!)
So have a smoke and a shot of scotch

If you want to find all the sluts
They're making out in the tank bare-butts
Frank gets pissed off (Oh Rocky!)
They turn to rock and now we see Brad's nuts

All the transvestites on the stage
Hear Rocky sing about his age
For Frankie knows (My my my!)
That walking in heels is all the rage

All the ho's in Frankie's floor shows say:
(Rose tint rose tint wild untamed thing)
Walk like a transvestite
Walk like a transvestite


* This song was originally conceived more-or-less as you see it;
  but before posting it I decided to keep the original "Oh-way-oh"
  refrains from the original rather than the parenthetical lines
  above.  After some thought and debate, I've restored the original
  callbacks to the song, but feel free to sing it either way.