TOWSON, MARYLAND
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- http://boog.org/text
(To the tune of "Denton, USA" from "Shock Treatment")


You'll find taco farts and funny faces
And lingerie and makeup cases ... in Towson
You'll find an action figure and a pookie dance
Drunkeness and ignorance ... in Towson
You'll find Towson U. and Goucher College
Towson fans need lots of knowledge
Towson cast can shake their booties
And Towson fans are full of cooties

You may tell us that you're afraid of Cue-Ball
But at least most of us have two balls
In T-O-W-S-O-N, we're T-E-N, that's ten out of ten!
If you're looking for a lot of pizzas,
Call Domino's or Little Caesar's,
Again and again ... and again and again ... and again!

Towson, Towson, we're all rabble-rousin'
We're at the Commons, we're OK!
Towson, Towson, we watch "Baron Munchausen"
It's the exceptional place
We'll sit on your face
In Towson, Towson Maryland!

This is the armpit of America
The hemorrhoid of the West
This is the birthplace of the flirtateous
The home of ... horniness
It's sleaziness, but we don't give a crap
Enjoy your stay, get lucky and get laid
And we'll all put Towson, Towson on the map!!

Towson, Towson, we're all rabble-rousin'
We're at the Commons, we're OK!
Towson, Towson, we're all drunk and sousin'
We're delinquent youth
We're all uncouth
In Towson, Towson Maryland!

Towson, Towson, we're all rabble-rousin'
We're at the Commons, we're OK!
Towson, Towson, we watch "Baron Munchausen"
It's the exceptional place
We'll sit on your face
In Towson, Towson Maryland!