SYMPATHY FOR THE EMPEROR
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- http://boog.org/text
(To the tune of "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones)


Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of darkest Force
I've been around for some centuries
Which is why I'm shrivelled and hoarse

And I was 'round when Jedi Knights
Had their moments of light and pomp
Made damn sure that Yoda
Ends his years down in a swamp

[CHORUS]
Pleased to meet you, hear you're Vader's son
But what's puzzling me is you don't find evil fun

Stuck around the Republic
When I saw it was weak, ripe for picking
Made some clones, killed the Jedi Knights
Obi Kenobi took a licking
I am human, saw the aliens ran
Made the wookies slaves and Empire plan

[CHORUS]

I watched the gleam of my war machines
Fight on countless worlds as my might unfurled
They shouted out, who killed Aldebaran
It was just a test, and then we moved on

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of darkest Force
And I lay traps for travellers
Who get killed for going one inch off-course

[CHORUS]

Pleased to meet you, hope you join our side, oh yeah
Don't know how powerful the Dark Side is until you've tried

Just as every Knight is a Stormtrooper
And Jabba the Hutt is fair
To end this tale, just call me Emperor
'Cause I'm in need of a new heir

So if I visit, with my new Death Star
Show some grovelling fear heart-felt
Have your whole home planet kiss my ass
Or I'll burn you a new ass ...teroid belt, mm yeah

[CHORUS]

So Skywalker, join our side
Join your father, can you see his pride
So Skywalker, join our side
I give you one chance, then you've died

[Repeat, fade out]