GAMER
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- http://boog.org/text
(To the tune of "Loser" by Beck)


In the time of warriors I was a fighter
Rotgut in my veins so I'm on an all-nighter
With the floating eyeballs bouncing on dungeon walls
Casting spells is the wizard in green hose
Kill the goblins and put them in a pile
We're exploring with the party in a single file
Diamonds and rubies, more gold than I can lift
Got a couple of rings here, sleep I'll take first shift
Someone came sayin' I'm a thief (knock 'im out)
Don't complain about
My treasure splitting and I'll take this chain shirt
Don't achieve anything with friends who steal
You get a big altercation and no cleric who can heal
So save your face with a mace in the dark
Something thinks you're food now, so wake 'em up and light a spark
Yo, kill it

Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, my sword is a plus three
Double d6 damage
Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, no dragon will eat me

Forces of evil in a forest night chase
Hide in the trees now with a shield on your face
Cause there's a big weasel it's ridden by an orc
Out of supplies, I hear orc tastes just like pork
When we return home and cash in our gold
Some gypsy chick says we'll never grow old
Is our fortune to die really young
I'd rather be thinking I'm immortal as well as well hung
I can't fight enemies like fate
But with gods after me they won't get me till it's late
If my time is almost run out, pass my gold to another
I'm rolling up my brother

Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, my sword is a plus three
Get steamin' at the demons
Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, no dragon will eat me
Fly-by dragon strike
Yo bring it on down

Soy
I'm a player, I'm a winner
Things are gonna' change when I roll it

Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, my sword is a plus three
I can defeat it
Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, no dragon will eat me

Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, my sword is a plus three
Sprechen sie Dwarf, baby?
Soy and pork-fried rice
I'm a gamer baby, no dragon will eat me
You know what I'm playin'